Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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