So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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