He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
