forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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