Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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