He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize