whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Someone came in the potted fern
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize