I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
