If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
