I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
