piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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