you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
