I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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