and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
