Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize