Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Too much gin, very little bucket
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
