In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
God gave him joint rollers for hands
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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