Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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