it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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