i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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