Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
