Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
