No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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