like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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