Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Rumble strips road head = magical
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize