so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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