Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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