Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
