The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
