he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
