I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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