alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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