i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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