omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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