i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
