she is the kim kardashian of front butts
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
