Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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