porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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