just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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