i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
