Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do vagina's smell?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize