Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
