i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
