i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
