So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The struggles of a small town man whore
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
