in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
