Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's blow job season.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
