I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
