Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
