If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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