guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
