dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
accomplished twins. life is a go
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
