can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I understand Curling. That high.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
