just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
