4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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