Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize