i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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