He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
