so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
