He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
