come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
